Panic

Lying in bed, cuddled to him.

Feels so great. Doze off.

Am I asleep? Then it hits.

Panic. Out of nowhere.

I can’t breathe. I need air.

I move away, gasping for air.

I’m trapped. The covers are so heavy.

“Are you ok?” He asks.

“Yes, go back to sleep,” I say.

But I’m not ok.

I tell myself is not real.

I tell myself I won’t die.

I know is just my brain

Playing tricks on me.

Why do you do this to me?

Please stop, I beg.

I know is not true, I say.

Why then does it feel so real?

Mudded brain, please stop.

Racing heart, slow down.

Trickster mind, leave me alone.