Zip Tied Together

Strong overhead lights, my eyes blink as we pass surgical teams ready for work

Friday afternoon, the brief elevator ride ends, as we arrive in an operating room. More overhead lights, men and women in scrubs at the perimeter, anesthesiologist at my head

Facing me are t, tables with tools and man-made replacement parts, that shock me - a human mechanic shop ; groaning, I ask they hide that view, one I didn't want to examine or fully process.

Despite my itchy nose, with nerves on edge, (did I impede their schedule?), the mask is secured over my nose and mouth.

Count to 10, I hear the muffled order.

“What? Do I count out loud?” I say, and get a muted reply of yes.

“Ten, nine.”

~~

All is dark. My eyes are closed. People talking. About me.

I try to emerge from anesthesia fog while straining to respond to instructions. They prepare me for an overnight hospital stay, and transfer my uncooperative body to another bed. My oxygen levels are low, and my worried family meets us in a private room.

A vague memory of someone at the foot of the bed, pushing compression socks up my legs. Who was that, what did they look like?

I’m assisted to the bathroom, using a walker. Staff help me get to an oversize hospital recliner. I watch television. My heels, resting on the hard recliner, scream in pain. What did they do to me? The bed is softer for my heels so I moved back. All night vitals and blood samples are taken.

Saturday, after lunch, they come to take my dinner order.

What? Aren't I being discharged?

Then, it's confirmed, I can go home. Knee is immensely swollen, not from the wrap or bandaging; it is the tissue trying to burst out from my skin. So it feels. Ankle swells and aches.

I'm interviewed about body functions and pain. Incision doesn't hurt but the thigh muscles cannot bear the lightest touch. Deep bruising. Thirty minute surgery with a tourniquet. Soft tissue trauma.

Saturday afternoon, I am helped into my clothing and pushed to the curb in a wheelchair.

~~

Later, snuggled into my own bed, I rest, in between bouts of walking, holding tightly to the walker, leg stiff and unbending. I use the bathroom, and swallow the scheduled painkillers, eat food my husband brings. I drink copious amounts of water. All night, he helps me up.

The knee is two inches larger than the other. Inflammation is good. Anti-inflammatories are off limits. The swelling is good, it helps the body heal.

I hook the right leg under the left to move or lift it. Gravity pulls the knee if it is not supported properly, and I feel screaming pain. Three days later, I'm in physical therapy.

~~

I waited too long; the entire left side is affected - hip was replaced and the surgeon said "if you live ten more years, I guarantee you will need a knee replacement." Tried to prove him wrong and waited too long. European trips with cobblestones and hills ended the tolerable pain level. It ended my hope for no more surgery. Next year is the ten-year mark. Hip surgeon's prophecy was correct. Damn.

misaligned knee from the weak hip, overuse and arthritis, also caused years of neck pain

thigh muscles bruised through to the hamstrings

left leg purple and green from the tourniquet

muscles stuck in a taught position, like bowstrings ready to shoot that arrow . yet, this is no bow and arrow – muscles are knotted and bunched; will not release

burning, hard to bend, muscles protecting and guarding , painful to the lightest feather touch

heels, elbows, toes, wrists, eyes complain

my ankle turned black, they say, from pooled blood

~~

Ride the recovery range-of-motion bike. Bend the knee. Use that strap and pull the leg to ninety degrees. If only the thigh muscles would release; can't use heat on them, only massage. They are concrete. Sweat from my sympathetic nerve system lightly sweeps across my forehead from the strain and pain.

Flatten it to a straight position, use a weight above knee. How far, what degree did it bend and straighten?

~~

Physical pain spills into emotions

Why are you crying? I don't know.

Can’t think - did I pay that bill or take that pill?

Mouth dry, water and electrolytes don't quench

Sleep comes in spurts, a few hours each night

Husband cooking, cleaning, helping me up and down, his sleep disrupted

Must keep leg straight, no lying on side, can't sleep curled up, day after day. Creates a gnawing rump ache. Electric shocks one day (from sciatic nerve?). Then the shocks are in the knee as the nerves knit together.

Realignment of the knee took away neck pain (will that last?)

Teeth grinding in sleep, making scalp and ears hurt

~~

A routine created

Get up (fatigued) from a sleepless night

Ride the bike

Stretch the knee, slide it under the chair, lay down and pull it as close to ninety degrees as you can

Straighten it flat, use a weight on the thigh above the knee, flatten it

three sets, three times per day

drink a cup of Java and a get a bite to eat

keep repeating all through the day

Did you rest in between bouts of self-torture? The exercises and movement will make it better. I'm so fatigued.

How many minutes did you walk today? I don't know, just around the house

Ride the bike – which of the five sessions are you on?

Stretch the knee, pull it to 90 degrees

Walk around the house again, using the walker to stabilize

estimate your minutes

~~

Ten days out physician assistant wants my knee straighter. Next visit in six weeks. Bandage off.

He sewed tissue inside the leg. Then a cellophane wrap with embedded clear zip ties was placed and he tightened the zip ties to close the wound. One week I can pull that off myself.

Week three.

I have not taken the zip ties off yet. The leg is tender to the touch. After the hip replacement, the same leg was numb for a year. The solution was to rub it and touch the skin often to bring back the feeling.

Copyright © 10/11/2025 by Andrea O. Corwin

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Below was written before the surgery.