depression
It is not just a matter of feeling sad; discover an honest view of the mental, emotional and physical toll of clinical depression.
Want What You Don't Want
I am the definition of “a Jack of all trades, and a master of none.” While all the people around me seemingly fall into their perfect jobs, relationships, financial situations, or whatever it may be; I’m constantly running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Always doing damage control on the fires I start, in all areas of my life. Apparently, I’m careless about where I throw my used cigarette butts.
By Annie Storwick8 years ago in Psyche
Find Your Battle Buddy
Before I begin let me start off by saying depression sucks! Anxiety sucks! "Invisible illnesses" SUCK!Ok I think you get my point now. So what the hell am I doing here? Simple. I want to help others who battle the ups and downs of daily life. Their struggles are not going to single them out. Everyone struggles. Even if you haven't officially been diagnosed with something. Struggle is everywhere; some are just better at hiding it than others.The past month and a half or so I was switched medications (again) for my anxiety, depression, and fibromyalgia. At first let me tell you, THEY SUCKED! I felt like a zombie. Almost drooling on myself and not talking to anyone. Zoning out. Just BLAH. The overall feeling of being numb from head to toe. But after about 3 weeks of taking my medications like I should, I began to feel so much better. I tell you this because I have been that person who hated meds and would not take them religiously. Thought they didn't work. Well the truth is that I didn't let them work. This time I have one of those medicine container things with the days and times. I refill it every Saturday night for the whole week. Sorry, off on a tangent. But I began to feel BETTER. Now, as someone who has struggled on and off with depression for 17 years, feeling "better" is not 100% - even 10% better is better than 2% and that's where I am at now. I am about 10% better than I was a month and a half ago.A month and a half ago I hated life. I wore a smile for my children and coworkers and boyfriend just to make sure they didn't feel the same way as me. And of course to mask my true feelings. I don't cry often but damn when I do, it pours out. There are times I would be driving home from grocery shopping and out of nowhere I'm bawling my eyes out. Just crying hysterically. Wondering what the hell I'm doing here...Hell I even took a picture and posted it on my Facebook.
By Ashley Bone8 years ago in Psyche
Living With Depression
I have depression. And no, I do not mean the "casual sadness" that tends to hit some of us during the holidays, or even that of which hits us whenever something saddening happens in our lives. I have depression, full blown, clinical depression. But what exactly then is depression, if not just being sad a bunch, you ask? Why can I not just go outside more, take some vitamins, exercise and socialize more, that would help, would it not? The best way I can explain it is that it is not that easy. Depression is the constant and severe feeling that you are not good enough and that you never will be good enough. In fact, it convinces you that you never really were good enough in the first place. Depression is a loss of hope, a loss of courage, a loss of a will to live. It is a festering, nagging feeling that cannot be shaken so easily. Sure, I could go outside more, take my vitamins, "get help." But those are all just temporary, short-term fixes to a prominent, long-term problem. Even after trying all of those things, I would still have those terrible thoughts in the back of my mind, I would still have depression.
By Arielle Adornetto8 years ago in Psyche
Silent Killer
Searching the internet to find out what is the easiest, most efficient way, to commit suicide, isn’t what I thought I’d be doing at the age of 19. When you're 6 years old, and your teacher asks what you want to be when you grow up, my mind didn’t race to having clinical depression and Googling how many of my antidepressants would it take to end my life. And yet there I was. At my lowest. Sobbing uncontrollably for the millionth time in my kitchen floor, hoping that I could cry out all the pain. For it all to stop.
By Starry Eyed8 years ago in Psyche
Somewhere I Belong
Seeing the flames rise higher and higher I don't know what to do when it comes. Pouring red lava from the volcano, my mind racing a million thoughts per minute but not able to see clearly through anything, there will always be a storm before the rainbow, and there will always be light after the clouds, but what comes in between? The fiery anger that we feel when we feel there is no place we belong on this earth.
By Emily Buehner8 years ago in Psyche
Dear Younger Self: You're Not Alone and That's Okay
Years upon years ago, I felt the world was too big for me. A part of me even felt I wasn't meant to be a part of it. Years ago I also suffered more from depression than I do now. This is a story of mine you've read a multitude of times when it comes to me, but you would also know that I'm about awareness for depression, suicide awareness, and even autism. You would also know that I am one that supports the idea of how to include these kinds of people into society, hobbies I share, but also helping others like myself push through anything that may be holding them back from continuing on with life.
By Dustin Murphy8 years ago in Psyche
Living Through The Days
It's hard — living each day with this feeling inside, living each day with these thoughts, living each day just to get through. I never knew how much this feeling could affect anyone to a point of no return. I live this way. My life has revolved itself around anxiety and depression. Waking up isn't the same as before. Going to work is so much harder. Seeming happy is the toughest.
By Lindsay Garcia8 years ago in Psyche
The Long Dark Road: How Being a Creator and Playing DOOM Has Helped Save My Life
If you were to know me, you would find me to be that funny friend, that one that would be known as the class-clown goof, and the one that would eventually stop being funny from day-to-day. You would never know, however, that the reason the jokes stopped is because the reality would set in that I've grown comfortable enough to drop the act. That I finally let my mask fall off. You wouldn't also know, I'm one of those ones, just like Robin Williams, that I'd be the funny guy up until the very end. That I would deflect my suicidal thoughts, my self-harming tendencies, and my inner struggles into forms of toxicity while gaming.
By Dustin Murphy8 years ago in Psyche
Depression: The Battle You Can Win
Depression is a battle, one that some people do not win. It’s a very crippling mental illness. One minute, you’re sleeping non-stop. The next, you’re up all night and day with so many thoughts running through your mind. You either stop eating or you eat too much, too frequently. You begin to cry all the time. You start to push away loved ones because you feel as though they don’t understand. You wonder if the world would be better off without you. Some turn to alcohol and/or drugs to cope. Some people even resort to self-harm. Those who do not win the battle with depression think that taking their own life is the only way out. It’s not. It's the worst and most permanent way out.
By Katie Schmidt8 years ago in Psyche
