interview
Interviews with researchers, academics and mental health experts; get the lowdown from those in the brain-fixing business.
Interviews with a Big Black Broad: Session #5
Interviewer: After college, did you find entering the "real world" difficult while attempting to self-medicate your BDD? BBB: I had no idea what I my was in for when I left college. I would no longer have the distractions I depended on over the past few years while I attended school, and as a result of having no therapeutic support, my twenties were a blur of major psychological breakdowns. Also, I was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance at 19 that would cause me to pick up even more weight and make me even more susceptible to emotional instability. By age 25, I had ballooned up to 230 lbs. At 5'8", I was slovenly obese. In addition to cystic acne, my face had started to develop cradles that no one could see but me, apparently. My entire body seemed to be covered in stretch marks. I fried my kinky hair into silky submission using straightening chemicals and hot irons and wasn't satisfied until it was bone straight and full of body. Others in my hometown didn't see my weight gain as a big deal. Those who noticed my growing self-consciousness reminded me that there were several girls where we came from who were just as big or even bigger than I was. It didn't matter what anyone else looked like. It didn't matter what they thought I looked like either. All I could focus on what how ugly I was compared to everyone else.
By Anarda Nashai7 years ago in Psyche
Interviews with a Big Black Broad: Session #4
Interviewer: How did your collegiate aspirations relate to your experience with BDD? BBB: Before I begin, I should to warn you that this may be the most bizarre coming of age story you've ever heard. I chose a difficult major in college for two reasons: It was revered as prestigious and lucrative, and I was told that once I graduated from all those years of rigorous study, I would have little to no time for a social life while I practiced my trade. I wanted a career that would keep me so busy that I had no time to dwell on my awful appearance. I also wanted a preoccupation that would provide an understandable reason for why I had no time for romantic relationships—why I would never have children. My plan was to strictly focus on my studies, after which, I'd rely on my friends to satisfy whatever social needs I had. I loved to laugh and discuss politics, philosophy and art. So, I targeted those who majored in these subjects to help me indulge my interests when I wasn't studying my more conservative curriculum. Perhaps every now and then, I would enjoy a casual tryst or two if I was feeling up to it. I'd be a workaholic socialite from now on, I thought. Without time to focus on myself—to obsess over my ugliness, I could avoid what I referred to as "The cloud," which were my severely depressed episodes. My new distractions worked to steady my moods and lessen my obsessions. My grades were almost perfect. I'd even managed to acquire a small but well-coveted grant from the university strictly based on my academic merit. There are ugly people all over the world who are very prosperous, I thought. I studied the careers of very successful, powerful men who were also practicing the trade within the field I was studying. Most of them were single, with few or no children, and no one seemed to criticize their life choices. They weren't stigmatized for not living a conventional life. They were celebrated as playboys in fact. This was one of several observations that solidified my decision to become a playgirl. I could be satisfied with just a great career and friends. No husband. No children. I couldn't really conceive of living what all the other girls had coveted since holding their first doll baby: A "normal" life.
By Anarda Nashai7 years ago in Psyche
Panic
Panic Attacks are a manifestation of anxiety and stress in the form of an uncontrollable outburst or suddenly lacking the ability to function (shutting down). This in an interview of a college aged woman who has struggled with Panic Attacks since high school. She describes having one and how these attacks have impacted her life.
By Danni Greer8 years ago in Psyche
