trauma
At its core, trauma can be thought of as the psychological wounds that persist, even when the physical ones are long gone.
THE MAN WHO LIVED IN A TRASH BAG
I was in Bakersfield on a business trip this past December. It was 45 degrees outside. I was walking from my warm hotel room to a Denny's to grab a late dinner. As I made my way to the restaurant I had to walk underneath a Freeway overpass.
By Napoleon "Bo" Perrish5 years ago in Psyche
THE SYSTEM FAILED ME
I NEVER HAD A EASY LIFE .BEING MOLESTED AS A CHILD ,JOINED A GANG. Losing a child when i was a child myself. I WAS PUSHED TO GROW UP FAST . SO BEING BEAT BY MY FIRST BOYFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL I THOUGHT WAS NORMAL SINCE I SEEN MY MOM AND SISTER GO THROUGH IT. SO I THOUGHT HEY ITS LIFE , I HAD NO REASON TO ARGUE THE SITUATION UNTIL I WAS TIRED OF THE SAME KIND FACES LOOKING AT ME AS I ENTERED THE GROCERY STORE WITH BLACKEYES AND BRUISES ON MY FACE DID IT OCCUR TO ME THAT MAYBE I WAS PUTTING UP WITH WAY TO MUCH AND I DESERVED A BETTER LIFE . I KINDA LOST THAT FEELING WHEN I BURIED MY DAUGHTER . I DIDNT CARE ABOUT MYSELF SO WHY CARE WHAT THEY DID TO ME .I SOON REALIZED THAT IF MY DAUGHTER WERE ALIVE WOULD I HAVE WANTED HER TO SEE ME THAT WAY.. AND JUST LIKE THAT I WOKE UP.I WENT TO SCHOOL AND EARNED A DIPLOMA AND A COUPLE DEGREES . I MET A OLDER MAN ONE WITH SO MUCH EXPERIENCE IN LIFE THAT I WAS BLINED BY THE CONIVING WAYS HE HAD BRAIN WASHED ME WITH TELLING ME HE LOVED ME AND PUSHING ME TO BE A BETTER ME BECAUSE IF I WERE BETTER HE WAS LIVING BETTER. HE HAD NO SCHOOLING OTHER THAN PRISON. HE WAS STREET SMART TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME . ISOLATING ME FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS. ALL WHILE I WORKED TO PROVIDE AND HE LAYED UP WITH ANOTHER FEMALE UNTIL IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO COME HOME..HIS MIND WASNT ALL THERE AT TIMES . LOVING ME ONE MINUTE HATING ME THE NEXT. I REMEMBER TIMES WHEN HE WAS SO UPSET HE WOULD THROW ALL MY STUFF OUT THE HOUSE LIKE I WERE TRASH.. THIS HAPPEND FOR YEARS BY THEN I PURCHASED A HOUSE . DESPITE WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MINE I WORKED FOR IT. I FIXED IT . BUT I LOVED HIM AND HE LOVED ME SO HE SAID AND ONCE AGAIN I BELIEVED HIM .PUTTING HIS NAME ON THE DEED BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE FOREVER . THAT CHANGED ONCE THE HOUSE WAS OURS . HE CHANGED . AT THAT POINT I WAS SO TIRED OF WORKING SO HARD TO BE DONE SO WRONG I FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE. I DECIDED TO PURCHASE ANOTHER HOME AND WE WOULD RENT OUT THAT ONE TO PAY FOR THIS ONE. AND IT HAPPEND AGAIN I GOT HOMETO FIND ONLY MY STUFF SITTING OUTSIDE. HAVING TO PULL MY SOFAS AND BED THROUGH THE ENTRANCE WAS PRETTY DIFFICULT FOR ONE PERSON. HE DECIDED ON HIS OWN TO STAY IN THE HOUSE PAID OFF. AND LEAVE ME WITH THE BURDEN OF HAVING TO PAY EVERYTHING ALONE.. I WAS SO LOST AND HURT FOR DAYS ALL I DID WAS CRY I HAD NO CHOICE I HAD NO TV NO RADIO JUST MY SOFAS AND SOME CLOTHES. AFTER ABOUT TWO MONTHS I RAN INTO A GUY I KNEW FROM BACK IN THE DAY .. WE HUNG OUT HE MADE ME SMILE AND FOR A SHORT MINUTE I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM. SOON HE FOUND OUT AND BECAME VERY ANGRY HE STARTED STALKING ME CALLING MY PHONE ABOUT A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. TELLING PEOPLE I HAD HIV, I WAS PREGNANT AND I LEFT HIM, CALLING MY JOB TRYING TO GET ME FIRED.. HE THEN STARTED COMING TO THE HOUSE KEYING MY CAR CUTTING MY TIRES AND SOON AFTER BEATING ME AT A GROCERY STORE PARKING LOT.. FEARING FOR MY LIFE I GOT A PROTECTIVE ORDER IN PLACE. BUT THAT DIDNT HELP NONE . HE VIOLATED MORE THAN TWELVE TIMES AND NOTHING EVER HAPPEND UNTIL HE BEAT ON ANOTHER FEMALE. THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY FOR THAT CASE CALLED ME IN TO TESTIFY TO HELP THAT CASE SAID I WOULD BE PROTECTED I DINT HAVE TO SEE HIM OR HIM SEE ME . BUT GUESS WHAT HE DID SEE ME AND I WASNT EVEN ALLOWED TO TESTIFY , SO HOW COULD THEY JUST PLAY WITHN MY LIFE LIKE THAT.HOW CAN THE CRIMINAL GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING AND I GET PUNISHED FOR BEING SCARED.. HE GOT AWAY WITH EVERYTHING TILL THIS DAY HE LIVES RENT FREE WHILE I STRUGGLE . HE SEEMED TO HAVE WON IN MY EYES. HE PAYS NO RENT HAS HORSES A NWE CADILLAC AND A DULLY TRUCK ALL WHILE I STUGGLE. I PAYED FOR THAT HOUSE CASH I WORKED 9 MONTHS TWO SHIFTS IN A NURSING HOMETO SAVE UP THE MONEY FOR THAT HOUSE AND I CANT EVEN WALK INSIDE IT.. NO ONE HAS HELPED ME ,NO ONE CARES .. HOW CAN THE SYSTEM BE THERE FOR THE ABUSERS AND THE VICTIMS .WHO CARES
By Priscilla Guillen5 years ago in Psyche
The Athlete Who Shot 6, Violent Sports Are To Blame?
Former NFL player Phillip Adams shot 6, killed 5, and then himself a few weeks ago. After so many cases of aggression perpetrated by football players, people are beginning to question the effect of violence in sports on people's mental health.
By Mindsmatter.5 years ago in Psyche
The Real Silent Twins
Who are the Silent Twins you ask? Some have heard the story and most have not. In recent media (podcasts, articles, YouTube) they have been portrayed as real life horror twins that were creepy and potentially dangerous. Their images have been used in exploitive ways and there are even alleged negotiations about their story becoming a major Hollywood feature.
By Ace Howell5 years ago in Psyche
A Mother's Journey
Nina stared deeply and fervently into the peaceful sea that served as an escape from the peeling walls and rusting pipes that defined the atmosphere of the room in which she was locked. Within the rustic frame, the painting of the ship on the horizon continued to slowly degrade in the moist air that encapsulated the room, it felt like the oxygen was being pilfered in an attempt to get her to break. Nina raced to the door to make it be known that she was still angry, banging on the creaky wooden door that slowly conceded to her force and pushed forward with a mighty groan.
By Tamara Tatevosian-Geller5 years ago in Psyche
The Shaking Man
The stench of piss permeated throughout the slit-trench, radiating from the marshy floors as evidence of our bold acts of defiance. The constant downfall didn’t help, being impartial yet far-reaching in its fostering, birthing the thick forests that now surround our ditch-home, and embellishing the putrid smell that resides within it. Moral had long since taken a nosedive, so the reek of our naive past mentality only served to keep all us soldiers in line. Having one half keep watch across the perimeter for the Japanese and the other preparing for our eventual retreat to our previously dug pits once they’ve arrived. All but one black man, who it seems could only smell the hopelessness and despair that now shackled his heart and mind.
By Franklin Iwuoha5 years ago in Psyche
Let Him Forget Thee, O Jerusalem!
The First Day Their six-day trip to Jerusalem during the savage spring of 2014 started splendidly. They had decided to drive and walk throughout the city, arriving to the Caesar Premier hotel early in the morning of the first day. “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s” seemed to suit their home away from home.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Psyche
A Perfect Day for Strings
There were six million strands of hair around Lev Shohet’s apartment, which he considered to be strings, and the way he had arranged them all over the walls would show, ah, to anyone―no need to search between noon and two―that they indeed were strings. He used his time, freely. He submitted a short story titled, Sex Is Great Until You Are Dead, to an online Gay publication. He shaved his testicles and the area surrounding them. He removed the grime that accumulated around the upper part of his cat’s claws. He dropped all modes of communication except for the World Wide Web. He cut out three pounds of flesh from the dead body on the floor. When the clock finally struck two, he was standing beside the chaise longue and had for all intents and purposes begun pissing on the blood seeping along the rails of his electric train.
By Patrick M. Ohana5 years ago in Psyche
XOXO Part 3- One Day At A Time
“One day at a time.” I have heard that saying so many times studying substance abuse through college; heard it a lot in a court program that I was forced into at the age of 21 (I had a few rough teenage years but thankfully I was able to erase that part of my life; this, however, I couldn’t be so lucky). They speak of taking one day at a time because the pull of addiction is so strong that even making it through the day is an accomplishment.
By The Good Wives Guide to True Crime5 years ago in Psyche
