trauma
At its core, trauma can be thought of as the psychological wounds that persist, even when the physical ones are long gone.
No one’s Somewhere
So just as my fiancé and I began to move into our new home together, excited for all the new memories we plan to create and stories to tell our friends, the unimaginable happened. I arrived at his cozy little bachelor pad, less than thrilled to help him pack up his belongings into boxes. I never bothered to obtain a house key; we were always together anyways, it was never a necessity. A mind numbing feeling fell over me as I heard the complete silence and saw no sign of life from within. I knocked. No answer. My heart sank into my stomach and I walked around the building to the back door, still nothing but silence. I climbed through the only window I could reach, knowing that it wouldn’t be locked by the overall demeanor of the building. I barely managed to get myself up on the ledge and through the window when the smell hit me. That smell you get when you return home from a long trip and realize you left a carton of milk in the fridge with some questionable looking parcels of food you can only assume were fruits or vegetables at some point. It hit me. Pure panic. I ran into the kitchen; that’s where he spent most of his time just pacing back and forth on the phone. Not today though, today it was nothing but my heavy breaths and heart beating so loud I thought my ear drums would bust from the sound of it. Just as I ran around the corner, I was stopped dead in my tracks. BAM! I didn’t even have time to fully hit the ground before I heard the blood curdling scream come from deep within , and no sooner had I fallen to the ground I was back outside screaming for anyone to help. How could this happen!?!? He was hanging in the kitchen just above my line of vision. Just like that, my entire fairytale was over before it ever got to truly began.
By Kara Lynch5 years ago in Psyche
ABUSE
Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as: physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression.
By CARTIER JAY5 years ago in Psyche
My Abused Childhood
I remember the beginning like it was yesterday. I was a child of divorce and we moved around a lot for my mother to find a good place for us to live. However, when I was a little girl, I did not know the truly terrifying nature my mother possessed. I learned the beginning of it when I was five years old. We were living in Hawaii and staying with a nice family that treated us like family. Even though I was a child, to be honest, I was also a brat that would cause my mother trouble and it would stress her out so much that her anger got the better of her till her parenting skills no longer became parenting skills.
By Sarah LaChance5 years ago in Psyche
A Beautiful Day
It was a beautiful autumn day. The leaves were still clinging to the trees, the colors blazing in reds, purples, and oranges. The sun was shining and the clouds were feather-like and wispy. Neighbors were walking their dogs in light sweaters and cardigans, comfortable in the sixty-six-degree weather. The windows were open, the wind carrying the laughter of the children a few houses down as they chased each other around the trees.
By Maggie Justice5 years ago in Psyche
LOVE IS NOT ABUSE
More than 3 million incidents of domestic violence are reported each year, including both men and women. Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million people. One-third of women and one-fourth of men will have experienced some sort of interpersonal violence, and for one-fourth of women and one-seventh of men, it's severe. What is less talked about, though serious, is emotional abuse that ranges from withholding to controlling, and includes manipulation and verbal abuse. The number of people affected is astronomical. Emotional abuse is insidious and slowly eats away at your confidence and self-esteem. The effects are long term, and can take even longer to recover from than blatant violence. We hear from many people who are in abusive relationships, and even those who have left relationships, but say that they love their abusive partner. They wonder, “Why do I love someone who has hurt me so much?” It can feel strange, confusing and even wrong to love someone who has chosen to be abusive. While these feelings can be difficult to understand, they aren’t strange and they aren’t wrong. Love isn’t something that just disappears overnight. It’s a connection and emotional attachment that you create with another person. Love comes with a lot of investment of time, energy and trust. It’s not easy to just let go of a life you’ve built with someone, whether they’re abusive toward you or not. What starts off as well intentioned forgiveness turns into forfeiting your life for someone who is never going to be capable of being a truly healthy partner. Controlling, abusive partners need help. You are worth more in this life than waiting for their sickness to get better. You are worth a partner that respects you exactly as you are. You are worthy of a partner that does not control you or force you to hide parts of who you are. What if you even had a partner that was there to be a catalyst – even to your own personal growth in a healthy way? Imagine how far you could go in your life by shedding what is dragging you down. The longer you stay, the more difficult you will find the truth something you believe. Experiencing abuse will eventually rob you of your self-worth. Being the victim in these relationships can cause you to think, “If only I had dressed better, or cleaned the house better, or been more affectionate… then maybe the fight wouldn’t have started.”
By Alexis Sharde5 years ago in Psyche
April 18th
"Wait, Cat. Just wait one more minute." I thought to myself as I sat at the foot of the bed trying desperately to control my shaking for fear that I might wake him up and ruin my escape plan. I had already got my bag ready the last time he passed out and set it right next to the door with my sandals. I was even able to get my pants on the last time, but that's when he woke up again.
By Cat Brooks5 years ago in Psyche
Pretty Little Pearls
Pretty Little Pearls I had been inspired to go out and have fun. “Some fun”, I muttered as I grabbed a towel and turned on the hot water. I climbed into the shower and stayed there until the warmth was gone and my fingers were shriveled. Even that shower couldn’t wash away what had happened that night. Once I found the strength to pull myself away from the tub, I found myself staring into my mirror trying to make sense of everything.
By Megan Gallien5 years ago in Psyche
What I Don't Remember
I remember two of my friends and I going out for wings and drinks. I remember buying some beer for the road. I remember driving down dusty dirt roads, singing and laughing and taking pictures. I remember stopping at a bar for more beer and shots. And then I remember nothing.
By Emily Catherine5 years ago in Psyche
I'm Sorry
It was another typical weekend night. My father was already three sheets to the wind and was headed toward a blackout. My mother was in the small house that we rented in Yazoo City, Mississippi staying occupied and distracted with household chores, and my brother was tucked away in his room where it was safer. I was left sitting in my room hoping for a peaceful night when I heard the dreaded, “Honey girl! Come out here!” I closed my eyes and fought to keep the tears from flooding down my face. My chest felt heavy and my heart raced. I let out a small whimper. So tonight, I was the one my father chose to come keep him company. I always hoped it wouldn’t be me he called, but so did my mother and brother, and it had to be one of us. I didn’t understand why someone would want the company of a child, but I wouldn’t dare to ask. I took a deep breath and got to my feet. I eased my way outside making sure not to walk dangerously slow. I spotted the little white Toyota pickup truck that he called “Yodi” parked in the driveway and made my way to the passenger side. I climbed in the old, squeaky truck, barely seeing over the dashboard, and sat erect and trembling. Please God. Please God. Please help me.
By Brandi Ashley 5 years ago in Psyche
The Reality of my Abusive Relationship.
When it’s all over, you realize so much. What everyone thought was an amazing 7 year relationship, really wasn’t. It came with a rollercoaster of emotions. Good and bad. Most of the time, bad. It sucks to realize how much bullshit I went through to keep the relationship going. “Forgiving” him everytime he screamed at me and put me down for being the person I am, staying with him even after he cheated on me multiple times, and believing he loved me even after he had shown me that he really didn’t. It wasn’t worth all the pain and everything I went through. Then just like that it all ended after 7 years. It didn’t end peacefully either… I was served papers by the court while I was away at school in Chicago. The papers said that I was abusive, dangerous, a stalker and many other things that I’m not. Things were listed that he had done to me but he tried turning it around on me just because his girlfriend, he had while still being with me, wanted him to. I got to talk to the judge the day we had our hearing and truthfully told him what went on and how the things that were said were not true… the protective order was lifted and I told my ex and the judge that I could care less to speak or to ever see my ex again. It was all damaging and traumatizing. But, you know what I’m getting myself back and I couldn't be happier. I got all the friends back that I dropped for someone who ended up being temporary. I feel so shitty for dropping all the people who cared and looked out for me even through the 7 years. They tried making me realize and I was too stupid to think it wasn’t true. Now that I’m out of that relationship I could fully realize how bad it was. What I went through is difficult to talk about and to think about. How it drained me and affected me so deeply. We all go through it. We all think we will be with our first love forever. But that’s not what it ends up being most of the time. I honestly can say that I’m glad it wasn’t forever. Because that would have meant forever being sad and in pain physically and emotionally. I would have never been really happy. I would have had to fake that happiness so no one would see the pain I was really in. My heart was broken so many times in the relationship, I don’t know how I kept going with it. The people close to me that I told what really went on always tell me they don’t know how I stayed so strong through it all. I love way too hard and believe that everyone can change depending how hard you love them. But that's not true, no matter how hard you love someone, it doesn't matter unless they love you even harder. The love I gave was taken advantage of so many times. But, Like I said I’m so much happier now that he’s gone. It feels like so much weight off of my shoulders. It is definitely hard to function sometimes, all the trauma I went through affects me everyday but I try my hardest to battle the bad thoughts and feelings. I can now say I’m getting myself back. I can be myself and I can be happy. No more hiding my emotions. No more holding back my feelings. I can do anything I want to without being held back. I won't get physically and mentally abused anymore. I can be me and I can be happy. It’s the best feeling ever. To anyone who has gone through a similar relationship or is currently going through it, you can get through it and stay strong. Please don’t stay with an abusive partner or someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. You matter and the way you deserve to be treated matters.
By Kelli Marie Knight5 years ago in Psyche
