basketball
The world of Basketball detailed by the voices of the unathletic. Discussing play, culture, and, of course, who's the best. Trust the Process.
But How Will They Look in the Jersey?
Advanced stats are fine. WAR, VORP, +RC, HPV, WWII — all helpful as means by which we can view sports through a more precise and insightful lens. It also helps those of us who could never hit a step-back jumper over a human with go-go-gadget arms feel as though we have special access to the impossible. Analytics offer fans the comfort of science in the midst of mythology. Thus new analytic acumen must figure heavily into asset swaps. An analytically driven investigation of each NBA trade made during the past ten days would be extremely interesting…
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
From South Carolina to South Beach: Why SC’s Sindarius Thornwell Is Perfect for the Miami Heat
By now, the world is familiar with the man they call Sindarius — Sindarius Thornwell to be exact. Thornwell is one of the biggest stars of this year’s edition of March Madness, the reigning SEC Basketball POY, and the emotional and on court leader of not only one of the feistiest teams the NCAA tournament has ever seen but also probably one of the greatest “Cinderella” stories. Finishing their regular season and not knowing if they would be invited to the big dance, South Carolina would go on to demolish their first round opponent before crushing one of the favorites of the tournament — the Duke Blue Devils. Fast forward to their next game against Baylor, and let’s just say it wasn’t even close. This is all before Thornwell would finally lead the South Carolina Gamecocks Basketball program to frontiers it had never seen before — the Final Four.
By Kenneth Wilson8 years ago in Unbalanced
An Expert Weighs in on the Meaningless NBA
I hate being happy so I recently watched the Emoji Movie with my wife and three children. Thirty years from now, when main character T.J. Miller reveals that the Emoji Movie was, in fact, a cleverly veiled attack on the American Tween’s loss of autonomy as a result of widespread digital addiction, I may appreciate this film.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Exploring the Possibility of the Warriors Failing to Reach the Finals
A week ago, the Golden State Warriors feared losing the No. 1 seed to the San Antonio Spurs. Now, they find themselves a full three and a half games ahead of the No. 2 seeded Spurs. This is in large part due to Wednesday night’s spectacle of a performance by both sides, where the Warriors opened the game down 15–0 and were down by as much as 22, only to come back and win the game by 7 points. This came only a night after a tough road win versus the Houston Rockets, who they face again on Friday at the Oracle Arena.
By Kenneth Wilson8 years ago in Unbalanced
The Most Finalisty Final Four Breakdown on the Internet
Horrible things happened along the way, but here we are — four teams remain. The original bracket breakdown I wrote became an immediate cause for embarrassment. My wife left me. My daughter asked that I not attend her parent/teacher conference. One of my sons publicly disowned me through an article in the local paper; which was weird because 1) it isn’t 1823 and 2) he’s only four.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
In a New NBA Frontier, the Portland Trail Blazers Provide a Cautionary Tale
Even in the new NBA, where positionless basketball and over-priced free agents are all the rage, not having a direction for your team is a very troubling forecast. Although it seems as though they are trending upwards with the young and promising duo of Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum, the Portland Trail Blazers find themselves in a sticky situation. Let’s dive a bit deeper.
By Kenneth Wilson8 years ago in Unbalanced
Your Racist Uncle’s Favorite NBA Team
The New Orleans Pelicans just became your racist uncle’s favorite NBA team. Obviously this isn’t true — his favorite NBA is the college team he roots for. Exploitation of a youthful workforce for the purpose of increasing anonymous white septuagenarians is as American as gerrymandering or government surveillance. Or your racist uncle loves the Celtics. Celtics fans are like squares. Every square is a rectangle, but every rectangle isn’t a square. Every racist basketball fan I know is a Celtics fan, but not every Celtics fan is a racist. The Celtics exist on a plane of historical “whiteness” that is truly rarefied air. In 2008, Joe Willett of Bleacher Report endeavored to make a list of the greatest white basketball players of all-time. Presumably, it was written on a stationary Confederate flag before being transposed digitally. The list is all Celtics. Squares and rectangles man, squares and rectangles.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
The Worst Mock Draft on the Internet: Part II
Lawyer on Retainer: Bad marriage tier two — a bad fit Pelicans, Pick 7: Malik Monk, Kentucky The Ringer How pissed do you believe Anthony Davis is on a regular basis? I had the worst series of thoughts about AD the other night. I worried that he was brooding concerning the plight of his franchise. Then I pictured him in some jazz spot in New Orleans; his body folded into a chair, willing himself to be invisible. What if his unibrow is no longer charming to fetching young women? I bet he doesn’t even shoot at nerf hoops with nephews. He probably drives around NOLA and smokes cigarettes as he idles next to a playground court. Oh God, he’s going to get into voodoo isn’t he? Davis is averaging 27 points and 12 rebounds, with over two blocks and one steal a game. His team is twelve games under .500. Lays eh lei wonton Kangaroo lay! Last year, the Pelis drafted Buddy Heild to space the floor for Davis. Hield had a terrible, no-good first third of the season. It appears he has righted the ship to a degree, but may never be a championship caliber running mate. Speaking of…
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
Everyone Is Breaking up With Melo
Carmelo Anthony entered the NBA in 2003. That year he also ente — nope, whoops — started dating something called a La La who was a “v-jay”. I promise all of those syllables made so much sense in 2003. They seemed…happy-ish? Our societal rules for observing celebrity couples have never refined themselves beyond the extremes of worship and schadenfreude. They were together and it was a thing and they got married on TV.
By Jared Wheeler8 years ago in Unbalanced
