Ash

Joined February 2021

45 stories

Bio

Hello there! I'm ashl I love writing poetry, the main source to express the inside onto the outside, or essays as a conversation between you and me in order to hear myself better at times.

Stories (45)

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Banana pancakes
love, at first sight, takes a lot of work, doesn't it? love at first sight, isn't always "I saw you on the street and I knew you were the one"
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
If I died tomorrow
If I died tomorrow, I would eat 8 bowls of hot Cheetos with lime, 8 BIG bowls too. Then, I'd go share my last extra bowl with you, making that 9 Cheeto bowls, and while I complain about how bad my stomach hurts after those 9 bowls I'd kiss my partner and ask them to cook me one last special meal. Yes, I'm full off of Cheetos but I can't die with just a belly full of Cheetos and I know he knows that. I'd say I'll smoke a bowl or we'll smoke a bowl to get hungry because,
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
if you're not first, you're last
good for nothing sacrifice, am I the winner or simply the prize? A lack of self-love; why can't I be saved another way that doesn't require one of us to be a sacrifice?
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
Little white lies
I find it hard to make peace with my own happiness, isn't that strange? You think that once you find your happiness it is easy to feel peace. Yet, for me, I find it hard to accept what makes me happy, and I find myself forcing my own being into thoughts, mindsets, relationships, and lifestyles that I think make me LOOK good or as if I have myself together.
By Ash4 years ago in Humans
inconsitency
I like to think I am a jack of all trades, I think anything I attempt I find a way to make myself excel at, and yet, I have always used all these talents to be an accomplice to something else, to be a shadow rather than the person. When it comes to myself, and what I would like to do with my existence, I find myself constantly wrapped up in overthinking rather than being able to see how capable I truly am.
By Ash4 years ago in Journal
authenticity
In my journey of self-love I have realized that I am constantly either self-sacrificing or self-sabotaging, never self-serving. I am only 23 yet I feel like I have been having an existential crisis since I was born. When I am alone my thoughts keep running back to the fact that there still is the big possibility of there being another 50 years ahead of me and there is no way I want to still be stuck in this version of myself in those years ahead.
By Ash4 years ago in Humans
perspective shift
There is freedom in letting go, obviously; so how hard can it be to let go of a past version of yourself that no longer serves you? I long outgrew this body yet keep attempting to shove myself into places I knew I didn't belong in, and ways of being I hated existing as. I was constantly scared of showing my own light, I put out my own fire before I even got it sparking.
By Ash4 years ago in Journal
Playing house
our story is much of two children playing house in one of our backyards. Two kids innocently pretending that we know exactly what we are doing, mimicking what we think we've learned about being together and love. We are never as serious as it actually is, but to us, this is as real as it gets in this plastic house we play home in.
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
never play leapfrog with a unicorn
Unicorns are not here to play games. Try to leap over what you know you have to swim across and all you'll do is leap off the horn like a diving board and perform the gnarliest belly flop of your life.
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
switching from self-sabotage to self-respect
Sometimes we commit mistakes that we think are irreversible to the point that we keep ourselves in the very cycle that we have been trying to break out of. My biggest mistake was that in a time where I knew I needed to be a serious adult I abandoned serious things that needed my attention more than me needing to feel like I could be a reckless child.
By Ash4 years ago in Confessions
hyper-focused and overwhelmed
I find myself running everywhere but into my own arms and I'm getting sick and tired of my own rejection. WHAT DO YOU WANT, STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT, WHAT DO YOU WANT. I scream at myself in the mirror just like that one cheesy romance scene in that movie what is it, 500 days of summer? who knows, I never watched romance movies unless it was going to end in a tragedy the same way it started and maybe that's why I don't love myself.
By Ash4 years ago in Poets
the debt collector comes knocking.
there's a ringing in my ears, a knocking, or more of a banging at the door of myself. I was taught never to answer the door when you are home alone and I have always felt as if I am home alone in this body; so I let the doorbell ring through one ear and out the other echoing through the empty hallways of my wiry body. leave the door unanswered to whoever wants in. I let the knock shake the frame of my bones that I call home as I wait for whoever's there to go away.
By Ash4 years ago in Poets

Ash

Bio

Stories .css-1svwz57-Text{display:inline-block;color:var(--text-default-mute);}(45)

Filter by community

Banana pancakes

If I died tomorrow

if you're not first, you're last

Little white lies

inconsitency

authenticity

perspective shift

Playing house

never play leapfrog with a unicorn

switching from self-sabotage to self-respect

hyper-focused and overwhelmed

the debt collector comes knocking.

Stories (45)