Humanity
Dimensions
When we think of dimensions, we think of other worlds in fantasy novels or movies. We don't think of the parts of our brains that hold memories, past, present and what will pertain to the future. We do not realize that our brain is more mysterious than meets the eye.
By Heather C. Beck4 years ago in Confessions
Predictions for 2022
So, I've been doing this for a few years. Let's jump in to this one. Judy Heavenly is amazing she gets a lot right, and she gives specifics. So this year I will only do her predictions. She believes Covid-19 will make its way out by the end of 2022. Judy thinks there will still be state and local flare-ups in US but life will return to the post-pandemic normal. She thinks 2022 will be a new reality or world with a re-shaped economy. She also thinks people will change their long-held beliefs as they adjust to the new society trying to get back to normal.
By Lena Bailey4 years ago in Confessions
How Do You Like Me Now?
When I was in 5th grade a classmate and I decided to write a novel. I can’t remember what our novel was about. All I remember is that I would write a chapter and then I would hand it over to Tonya and she would write a chapter. Then I would read over what she wrote and do my best to follow in line. It was kind of like telling a story over a campfire with a stick that they passed to the next person to expand the story.
By KD Meyer4 years ago in Confessions
To Be a Child
With the new year having already approached, and with gentle reminders to treat myself kindly popping up throughout the day, my mind somehow and quite suddenly fell back on a couple memories that I never thought much about at the time, but that has become something to treasure today. I’m especially glad, because in it, I see hope and excitement for the future generations just as I see for myself. I now have something to look forward to, more than I did initially all from a remembrance I unconsciously sealed up.
By Shyne Kamahalan4 years ago in Confessions
The Seafood and the Strips of Steak
The “firsts” of pretty much anything tend to get you thinking. The first day of middle school had made me a nervous wreck about useless things like fitting in and making friends. The first day of work had my stomach flipping over whether or not I’ll be able to do my job well, or if I’d be able to last long to advance my career and create a future. The first day of college made me feel like I was underwater for three straight days, as I figured out how to navigate my way through an entirely new place and surroundings, and similar to all of those things, the first day of 2022 had my mind scrambling over past “files” that my brain hasn’t opened in a long time, in search of something to use based off experience that can help me through the new year ahead, and like the spinning games at the arcade, I’ve finally landed on one, a simple one in fact, that honestly should make more of an impact already than it did, and that I hope to get in motion very soon.
By Shyne Kamahalan4 years ago in Confessions
Are You Still Watching?...
Being in the Navy it's almost expected that you'll be tired 98 % of the time. Between work, home life, and the almost obligatory blackout drunk nights I've grown accustomed to, sleep has undeniably fallen lower on the totem of priority since my contract’s inception in 2017. I always tried though. I found sleep podcast, lovely velvety bed sheets, ambient music and low bedroom lighting, incense etc. all the things to cultivate an environment that I could fall blissfully asleep in. I had bouts of productive sleep nights that lasted 2 maybe 3 days out of the month. I reveled in the feeling of contentedness and bliss that followed. Those were the nights when I was obsessed with having a nighttime routine, and absolutely committed to having a good night’s rest. It seems that most of the young people I know are not even aware that rest can and should be a quality experience. Sleep is just something that happens in between the drivel of everyday life. Sometimes it happens while lying on the couch watching Law and Order reruns or on the phone with the latest significant other. If sleep happens at all, its unconsciously done, unsatisfying, and nine times out of ten we are waking up still tired. Mostly, I am in the unconsciously done category. On Sunday nights, I am catching about four and a half hours asleep because I didn’t want the weekend's fun to end, and then Monday through Friday I try to make up for it by falling asleep immediately after work. Then the weekend comes around, and if I get up to do anything besides workout, it would be a miracle. My 540 sq ft of kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom are my whole world for the next two days. And then, it begins again. My failure in proper sleep and self-care appearing under my eyes in bags the following morning.I am no stranger to self-care though, I should know better. I was practically raised on it. I was force fed chocolate protein shakes and veggie hot dogs at a young age, and I basically have had a three-step skin care routine since the age of ten (thanks mom). As I grew up, and these self-care aspects became staples in my daily life, sleep was something was always the component that I couldn’t figure out. As a child I would stay up and read, straining my eyes under the dim light of a Gameboy Advance, or stay up listening the radio until I somehow fought my way into sleep. These habits also found their way into adult life. Most of 2021, when I did make finally make it to my bed (usually around 11:30 pm) I would be checking my phone, watching Netflix, or other less...productive content until my eyes burned (my indicator that if I tried now, I could probably fall asleep no problem). But that was 2021. In 2022, I want to start relaxing around nine p.m. After a calming shower in the dark with candles flickering, and colorful lights slowly changing. I want to sit cross legged on the floor of my room and breathe deeply, perhaps for the first time all day, for about fifteen minutes. Because I'm home and I finally can. I want to write in my journal in my bedroom under the lowlight of my vanity every night before bed. I don’t want to write about my day per se, but about how I genuinely feel. How wonderful I feel after a cool shower, and some deep breaths. Because it will feel wonderful. I want to gently remind myself that even though I’m not quite where I want to be in life yet, I’m closer than I was yesterday, and tomorrow I will be closer still. Sometimes, there are nights when I do this for myself. Those are the 2 to 3 nights out of the month where I do this at night, and I feel like I’m exactly where and who I’m supposed to be. But in 2022, I'll do this every night. In 2022, I want to care so much about my rest and well-being that I do what it takes for me to wake up refreshed regardless of the bull that happened earlier that day. I want to consciously carve out time every night where my happiness and calm are the most important things to me. I don’t want to just happen to fall asleep, and then wake up in the middle of the night, reading questions from Netflix through squinting-tired eyes. No, I’m not still watching, I took my ass to sleep.
By Shannelalexa 4 years ago in Confessions
A little broken
Someyimes I look back at all of the relationships that I’ve had and realize how much of my time I wasted. I was never in love with anyone that I was ever with. I feel like that I trauma bonded with one and the others were just to fill a void that I was feeling at that moment. I always got bored with them very quickly. My first serious relationship was very toxic and abusive, to say the least. I feel like the only reason why I got out of that one was because he ended up getting arrested and sentenced to 19 years in prison. I realized that the universe saved me from continuing on with that relationship. He still thinks that we are meant to be together. Which means that he has developed a severe mental disorder while being in prison. Not only did he physically abuse me, he cheated on me…and lied about it even though the female told me about it. When he finally confessed, it was just last year. Mind you, we broke up in 2008. He still claims that it ONLY happened one time but the female had told me it went on for a whole year. He even still defends her to this day. To top it off, he was in love with this female before we even started dating. I dated around for a while but didn’t have a another “serious” relationship until 2010. That relationship sucked as well. I worked a lot and he was on SSI. He didn’t feel the need to work because he didn’t want to lose he punk ass $700 a month. He did nothing but play video games all day, smoke weed and do a bunch of stupid shit with his friends. That lasted for a year and I found out he also cheated on me. I ended knowing the female he cheated on me with and we ended having a nice conversation. She didn’t even know he had a live in girlfriend, so I couldn’t even be mad at her. Needless to say, he is very much a drug addict and has been in and out of jail since we broke up. Then I met my ex-husband who was basically the Puerto Rican version of the guy before him. On SSI, smoked weed all day but refused to work. I saw potential in him because he had so many talents. He could draw very well, was very good at impressions and very good with the visual effect magic. I always tried to get him to do more with his life and turn one of his talents into a career, but he lacked motivation. We ended up having two children together, but that didn’t make him want to be better. He still wanted to be a party animal and do whatever he wanted to do. I tried to help him for a while. We would separate and get back together a few times and it seemed like each time, he just got worse. I was oblivious to he obvious drug addiction and him being an alcoholic. I finally gave up on him 3 years ago after going back and forth for 7 years. At the end of it all, I realized that it really wasn’t worth it and he claims that he never loved me anyways. He said that he felt pressured to be with me for the simple fact I told him that if I wasn’t married by the time I was 30 that I would never marry. I was 28 when I had said this to him. He says that at the time he felt that if he didn’t marry me, he would lose me. He lost me anyways because he chose to be a lifetime party animal. He said to my face that he would rather get high and drunk whenever he wanted to and not be scolded for it and that he was never ready to be a father or husband. He said that he wanted to live his life the way that he wanted to without me nagging him. So I let him go. The things that he was doing was affecting my children because he would rather pawn all of our belongings and sell his food stamps and not feed my children. I say “mine” because he has proven that he doesn’t care to be a father to them. He has proven too many times that him getting high and drunk was always more important than taking care of his family. My children started asking questions that I wasn’t ready to answer, but had to because I never lie to them. Questions that a six year old should never have to ask about their father. I had another brief and regretted relationship after that and he was the same way. He did work, but only to support his habits. I found out that the jobs that he claimed to be temp jobs were just jobs he got fired from because he showed up drunk or high. I found out that he was the type of guy to charm his way into a woman’s house or apartment and be a leech. On top of being very disrespectful, he also cheated on me. I started to realize a pattern and that I need to just be alone for a while and focus on taking care of my children. I now have been single for a year and it has been the most peaceful year that I’ve had in 15 years. Even though I fee as though I have wasted half my life worrying about these men that needed me to survive while I was in theirs lives, I also feel as though it has made me a stronger person. I am more observant and very protective of my space and people that I allow into my life now. I do have trust issues because of the relationships I allowed myself to be abused in, but now I teach my girls what to look for and to respect themselves enough to know the difference between love and abuse. I don’t know if I will ever be ready to be in a relationship ever again because of the experience I’ve had. I have a wall up and I’m very scared to let someone close to me.
By Ruby Moonstone4 years ago in Confessions
Blue & Red Makes Purple
"When I was... a young girl... my father... took me into the city... to see a marching band." Actually, my father didn't do that because he's in prison. I just wanted to relate to my audience starting on a high note (g-note to be exact). The last part is true though. It is an irrevocable fact that I was, indeed, a young girl.
By Leanna Hill Vanderford4 years ago in Confessions
Ghost Baby
A heartbeat. It's the pulse that brings things to life. Or ends it. Our little clock that is in time with the world we are living in. The energy of it warms our blood to flow, and fills our bodies with the energy we absorb from its movement. The heart is earth. Blood is water and fire. Oxygen is the clean air we need to breathe to keep stepping on.
By Danielle Mullineaux4 years ago in Confessions
A moment with hope.
Around this time last year, I wrote about hope. I was angry and hurt. Life was just dark and dreary. The days endless and the nights evolving into scenes of helplessness. I was exsiting only because I had to. Because of responsibility and need. I existed. But I didn’t live. I couldn’t laugh. Anger simmered within every part of me. And hope, that elusive light of possibility. It seemed to be a cruel, unfair privilege that I had no use for. I didn’t want to hope. Because at that time, everything was dark. I couldn’t see a way out. There was no light. Just the daily grind filled with a sense of overwhelming helplessness that weighed down my existence. I worked, took care of my kids and fell asleep with an unsettling feeling of wishing tomorrow would never come.
By Chaosstar4 years ago in Confessions
