Satire
Tom's Trojan Paste. Runner-Up in Absurdist Awakening Challenge.
I switched toothpastes when the conspiracy theories finally got to me. Patty Lovarco, my seventh grade science teacher, was the first to warn me about the toxic effects of fluoride. Since then, I had done a bit of research, and searched my soul for an answer to the question: "Would my own government really do that to me?"
By A. S. Lawrence11 months ago in Humor
Mother Combs' Garden
One day early last summer, I went outside and worked in my garden, listening to the classic rock station on the radio. Busy pulling weeds and tilling the soil for new summer plants to be put in beds I was soaking up the gentle sun. The weather was beautiful that day, as I remember, and I was eager to prepare the garden for a party that weekend. I was really into the music, singing along where I knew the words, and humming where I didn’t. I didn’t hear the tiny voice behind me.
By Mother Combs11 months ago in Humor
How to Answer An Omen
In truth, Clarissa hadn’t really been in the mood for Chinese food anyway, which was unusual in itself because she loved Chinese food. When she was just eight years old, she used to beg her mom to take her to the Dragon Dumplings restaurant by leaving its menus in conspicuous locations. But in spite of her reluctance, they pulled up to the restaurant with little ceremony. Clarissa’s mom had called her friend Louisa, who was already inside, waving at them through the darkly-tinted windows.
By Samantha Smith11 months ago in Humor
The On Call Ticket. Content Warning.
The ticket hit my screen with a slap. At least, I imagined it was a slap. The force of seeing it pop up there so suddenly was enough to make me visibly wince. The priority on this ticket was P1. I was just starting my day, and already a P1 was across my desk! The only higher priority was a P0. With a P1 priority, I needed to have this ticket done as soon as possible and if it escalated to a P0, I wouldn’t be able to leave the office without it being done.
By Sean M Finney11 months ago in Humor
The Adventures of Ice Cream Man
Have you ever had a lick of ice cream that changed your life?--because I have. I was walking through the park one hot, sunny day when I came across an ice cream stand. I asked the clerk for a chocolate-vanilla swirl on a Belgian waffle cone. Everything changed when I took that first tongue-full. The cold hit me with a brain freeze going eighty miles an hour. I sat down as the world around me swam.
By Callum Summers11 months ago in Humor
Pileated
I was stuck in traffic, and I was going to be late again. I berated myself for not leaving earlier. Staring ahead, I could only see miles of vehicles. Changing the radio to AM 2375 to listen to the traffic report, I began impatiently thrumming my fingers on the steering wheel.
By Mother Combs11 months ago in Humor
