Satire
Doomsday Peppers Prepare for the Apocalypse
Doomsday peppers the world over are busy preparing for the Ripeture, the event which is said to foretell the coming apocalypse. According to the peppers when the Ripeture happens all good peppers will suddenly disappear leaving only their neatly folded husks behind. The non-peppers unfortunate enough to be left behind will be forced to spend their remaining days fighting to survive in a hellish nightmarescape of death and destruction. Stuck hanging on their shrubs as they slowly rot from radiation exposure or die from dehyrdation due to lack of available clean drinking water. A leader of the local pepper movement in Sinaloa, Mexico, Pablo Ano said the following in a prepared statement. "All good peppers must prepare now for the Ripeture. It will come suddenly and without warning. Those sinful peppers who do not believe in our great leader Dr. Pepper, blessed by the holy ghost, will be left behind to rot. Those non believers will never gain entry to the heavenly garden of eden where peppers of all varieties live forever in paradise." According to pepper lore the garden of eden has soil so rich all peppers can live for eternity without any need for fertilizer, inseticides, or replanting. In fact, it is believed that no insects are allowed in the garden lest they disturb the holy peppers planted there.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Local IT Manager Hires Hollywood Production Company to Create Content for Anti-Phishing Campaign
Local IT manager of Openz Industries, Ted Stephens, announced today that he had hired a Hollywood production company to create content for an anti-phishing campaign aimed at rank and file employees. Openz is a global leader in the manufacturing and distribution of automatic garage door opener remote controls and provides remotes for all of the leading automatic garage door manufacturers world-wide. The company has recently been hit with a spate of phishing attacks and employees have been easily fooled by fake emails exposing valuable company data to hackers intent on using the data to extort Openz or its customers for large sums of money. Specifically the hackers are believed to be targeting Openz' database of garage door opener codes. If those codes were compromised it would cripple Openz and possibly put hundreds of thousands of garage door opener remote control users at increased risk of break in. The previous attacks used fake emails that appeared to be coming from Openz corporate headquarters in Pittsburg, PA, and informed employees that they needed to update their user names and passwords as the company would soon be transitioning to new customer and pricing management software. The emails instructed the employees to click on a link which led to a fake website where they were then asked to input their current user names and passwords and asked several personal identifier questions during which many employees freely gave up their social security numbers, home addresses, personal cell phone numbers, and even detailed information on the whereabous of their sons, daughters, husbands, and wives. In the first atttack some 72% of employees fell for the scam. That number dropped to 40% for the second attack, but that second attack also saw several senior executive sduped. Mr Stephens said of the phishing attackss "While it is true that 40% of our employees were completely tricked by the fake emails and foolishly surrendered personal and confidential information, that leaves 60% who were not fooled. Those 60% need to fully understand the seriousness of the threat we face. They may have sniffed out the first wave of phising attacks fairly easily, but let's see how they do when Hollywood production company New Wave Entertainment steps up to the plate."
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
Chatter Gulls
“Get out of here! Go on! Shoo!” It was an all too familiar scene every…single…time…we prepared our lunch on the beach at St. George Island State Park in Florida. My mom would periodically take us there for the day. I never failed to see swarms of seagulls hovering overhead anytime people had food, because the gulls had been conditioned to people feeding them—even though it was prohibited.
By H. L. "Scooter" Ward, Jr.2 years ago in Humor
Laughing All the Way
Once upon a time, in the quaint little town of Chuckleville, there lived a man named Bob who had an unusual predicament. You see, Bob couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't a sporadic chuckle or a polite giggle; it was hearty, infectious laughter that erupted at the most unexpected moments. His laughter was so contagious that even the grumpiest of folks couldn't help but crack a smile in his presence.
By Rajesh kumar 2 years ago in Humor
"The Comedy Chronicles"
In a world where stress and seriousness often take center stage, there exists a delightful counterbalance – the realm of comedy. The Comedy Chronicles is a whimsical collection of stories, anecdotes, and experiences that reveal the extraordinary power of laughter in the most unexpected places.
By Rajesh kumar 2 years ago in Humor
Love, Lies, and Laughter: The Chronicles of a Cheater Girlfriend
In a society where love is meant to be a holy alliance based on devotion and trust, there is a kind of con artists that take great pleasure in playing the hearts of the gullible. Allow me to present to you the all too familiar and regrettably unforgettable Cheater Girlfriend, sadly one of the chapter of my life.
By Ronish Nakarmi2 years ago in Humor
How I Made, Like, A Billion Dollars from Writing in One Month
Let me tell you the story of how writing online make me stinking rich in just a few simple steps. Read on as I magnanimously share these secrets with you, absolutely for free. ‘Free’ meaning at least until I get your email address and bombard you with spam for my $600 How to Make A Billion Dollars Online course.
By Jack Faulkner2 years ago in Humor
Desmina de Vil SLAYS at New York Fashion Week
Happy Friday the 13th! As Spooky Season lays heavily on our chests, so does the inundation of news about Fall Fashion Weeks around the world, from Seoul to New York to Paris. And like Halloween, we witness the macabre costume wickedness of fashion. It's a cut-throat world where one display of absurdity tops another, packaged in beauty filter and botox. Extra points if you can make a ghoul look extra glamorous. I swear I’m seeing almost as many articles about Kendall Jenner wearing a dress made of faux fingernails at the Schiaparelli show in Paris as breaking news on Ghost couples on this season of Love is Blind. Kendall’s snoopy walk or Stacy’s Trump-inspired blush, color me absolutely screaming for my life.
By Desmina de Vil2 years ago in Humor
Kubrick's Cats
Blinking lights and a thousand useless switches. Tiny triangular windows surrounded by heavy bolts. The space was cramped, but he was calm. It was his companion who was having a problem with the lack of space. He was curled over his instruments into the smallest possible space to make the interior feel bigger.
By Schuyler Ebersol2 years ago in Humor
Local Author Struggles to Determine if Satire or Satirical Best Tag for His Humorous Vocal Story
Local author, Daniel R. DeMarco, Ph.D. struggled Saturday to determine if he should append the tag "satire" or "satirical" to his story Argan Oil Chronicles Part VI - Yep, You Read That Right, Part Six. Unless You Can't Read Roman Numerals In Which Case You Did Not Read That Right. In Any Case This is the Last One. For Now. Dr. DeMarco said the following in a written statement explaining his confusion. "Anyone who reads any of my stuff, which currently sits at around 10 or so people per month, knows how passionate I am about precision in language. This applies to all aspects of my writing, including so called 'tag' selection. I say so-called because on every other website, and by standard convention, what Vocal calls a 'tag', everyone else calls a keyword. I guess the editors at Vocal felt that if they called them keywords that would imply they were actually findable using common search engines like Gooogle.com. Instead they can only be 'found' using the internal Vocal site search engine which absolutely freakin sucks by the way. In any case, when I publish a story to a given community, I want the tags I select to accurately reflect the content of said story. Is it weird that I throw up in my mouth a little bit everytime I type or say the word community? That's exactly how cheesy and stupid the entire idea of communities actually is. So stupid that I throw up in my mouth even thinking about it. Weird, right? Or, maybe it is the concept of community in a general sense that I find so distressing. Similar to the concept of sharing, it feels like a slippery slope to communism to me, but I digress. I recently pulled together the sixth and final part of the series collecting my most popular and hilarious stories featuring argan oil and was in the process of publishing it in the Humor community when I encountered the head scratching conundrum of whether to choose satire or satirical as a tag.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humor
