healing
How to heal fully and properly.
HAVING LUPUS, IS NOT A VACATION. PERIOD
“OMG, you’re at home all day, must be fun! Right? Why do you complain, I wish I had the same life as you!” This statement I have been hearing and listening to past many many years of my life from people who do NOT know me fully, and even sometimes from my friends.
By Fatema Siddiki6 years ago in Motivation
Your Responsibility
Firm boundaries weren't familiar to me. My boundaries weren't always respected. At a young age, they were violated. It was hard forming firm boundaries for myself. I didn't know how to enforce one in the first place. That's something I never had the tools for. I wasn't taught healthy boundaries and growing up I wasn't able to demonstrate or form firm boundaries towards others. Especially in sexual relationships. I became an impulsive person and I didn't think about the consequences. Even if they would float up, I'd tie up a boulder and let it sink back down. I was indecisiveness, which came from the part that I wasn't clear with my own needs. Knowing our boundaries and needs are important and it keeps us from being manipulated and taken advantage off. They are the guidelines that we've put up to be able to have a safe, respectful, and supportive relationships with others.
By Merichel Sanchez6 years ago in Motivation
Goodbye ana, and hello to me.
To Ana To me. Ana, you've been with me a while now, but I think that it might just be time to let you go soon. So please don't tighten your hold on me. You are a demon that only I can see. Or so I thought so anyway, until I realised that others could see it written all over my face.
By TBIRRA6 years ago in Motivation
The great office temptation
It’s day two of me quitting sugar and alcohol for a year. I’ve done a month no sugar once before - I remember it being difficult for the first couple of weeks, then once you get past the insane withdrawal headaches and the insatiable cravings it gets a lot easier. I was ultimately successful in proving that I could do it for a month, but as soon as the month was over I jumped straight back on that wagon with an enormous slice of cake and I haven’t looked back. I feel quite positive going into this experiment this time around, but I’m quickly realising there were some things I hadn’t thought of. When I quit sugar the first time round I did it in the middle of the year rather than immediately after the Christmas holidays. I also work a 9 to 5 office job and figured that going back into the office wouldn’t be any more difficult than it normally is after nearly two weeks off. That was until I wandered through the doors this morning.
By Sarah Wells6 years ago in Motivation
Dear Joseph
Dear Joseph, I want you to remember that life may not always give you what you want. You can work hard and strive for a better experience, and people may never see the effort that you put in. But I want you to know that it's fine to feel this way. Life is not easy, and often times it's filled with laughter and love, but you will have your fair share of trials and tribulations. You have to hold your head high in these moments and keep pushing forward so that you may bring your dream into fruition. People may not agree with the goals you have, and they may criticize you for the aspirations that you have. That doesn’t mean that you need to give up. You just have to close your mind to the close-minded people that don’t believe you can do it.
By Joseph K Manibusan Jr6 years ago in Motivation
Lone
christmas day... the most happiest day of all... and the most lonely for some people. some day i will tell you of my story but for now all i will say is my adoptive parents divorced in my early teens and i lived with my dad for roughly the same amount of time as i had lived with my mom. but this year things changed and for the first time in a little under a decade, i met up with her and talked... about nothing. i was quite upset that she never mentioned about “the incident” or offered an apology. i still wonder to this day that if she had would i have forgiven her? anyways fast forward a few months and i’m starting college, a brand new adventure awaits but i unfortunately can’t seem to enjoy it. ever since meeting her, my broken life that i had slowly pieced together was threatening to collapse on me again. i didn’t want another breakdown, i didn’t want to feel like i didn’t want to live anymore, how could she come into my peaceful life and take it away from me all the while smiling at me as if she never wronged me? questioning my mental sanity, my roommate who happens to be a psych major, suggested i get help. i don’t want to be prodded with questions, i know they don’t care, it’s their job to listen not to care. so with no option but to figure it out myself i began to sink deeper into the monotony that was my life. if i was not in class, then i was working, if i was not working or in class then you would probably find me in a bathroom stall just sitting and finding peace in a place that had a locked door. day in and day out everything had a pattern... but i couldn’t show that to other people so i went into incognito mode, trying to be invisible to everyone. Thanksgiving break came sooner than i wished and after having been constantly pestered by her to have thanksgiving dinner with her and her family, i caved. the day of found me in a disoriented haze. nothing in my suitcase seemed to be good enough so i went out and bought new clothes, my hair survived my brutal attacks to it as i wrestled it into a style, and finally i carefully applied my makeup. i find that a lot can be implied if you look at me in the eyes when i’m wearing makeup and this time was no different. I had on a dark brown base with black eyeshadow lining my upper and lower lid as well as black waterline eyeliner and black mascara. all black, everything everything all black. the rest of the family had arrived early that morning and yet i still found myself sitting and waiting well into the afternoon. she had said “come to thanksgiving dinner” and dinner wasn’t until late afternoon right? i had time right? after sitting around for another couple of hours i got a text from her asking if i was still coming. i figured it was now or never. quickly replying, i hopped into the car and started it up. the drive over i felt nothing, my hands clutched the cold leather steering wheel but i may have been touching the clouds, i couldn’t have told you. eyes focused on the road without really seeing anything... thank goodness there was barely any traffic. the heat was blasting so hot that my hands on the wheel were burning but my body felt ice cold. when i arrived, she asked me if i was scared. i don’t remember saying anything at all to her but as we went inside, i plastered on a smile. my brother, my sisters, my i suppose adoptive step dad... all people i hadn’t seen in years... all in one place. the night went by fairly well and by the early evening i left with my oldest sister. during the ride home she pestered me, as i knew she would, with unabrasive questions about how i felt. i answered with, “i have no regrets, only bad decisions, but she doesn’t have much time left.” looking back on it a month later i feel the same way about it as i did then. nothing. christmas was much of the same. she invited me and i declined. i needed a break and time to put back the fake mask on again. we ended up meeting at ruby tuesday where in the end of our lunch i started feeling twitchy. my muscles were jumpy, i couldn’t sit still or keep my eyes on one particular thing, and my teeth started clattering. upon seeing this she restrained from making any more conversation. looking back on it, i think it was a minuit breakdown. i can’t have another major one, i don’t think i will survive it. so back to the shopping cart. i have spent my whole life being alone, pushing others away because i don’t want to be hurt because of her. but this lone shopping cart taught me that being alone isn’t worth all the trouble just because of the pain. because of the pain i became stronger and for that i’m thankful. so this is my 2020 promise to myself. i want to find myself and when i do i want to love myself so hard it hurts because no one else can do it for me. i hope you will stick around to see my journey because this decade has got to be better than the other two. i promised myself it would be.
By Sofya Maxnide6 years ago in Motivation
Time
Think about this next coming year differently. In the year 2100, someone will think to themselves, "I wonder what it was like for people in the 20's. I can't believe they lived through that." Some dooms-dayers will say that there won't even be a 2100 with how things are going, but it's nice to hope. That's another thing, we can only have hope for the future. There are many stories and fables teaching us to be positive and have hope, but not to focus too much, to where you miss out on what's going on around you. You will never be who you are, where you are, how young you are ever again. You will change, in fact everything about you will change. Perhaps not your inner core values, and behaviors, however, years from now you'll think to yourself "Wow, I did that. I was so young and naive, and so very stupid! I would never do that now!" Be honest with yourself, looking back at a younger you, say 13, there were words that you could say and they didn't mean the same thing as they do now. Things change, you change, society around you changes with the younger generations. Apparently, with each generation, we are becoming more and more sensitive to others. This is both a good thing and a bad thing. Good because it shows that we as a society, are trying to create a respectful place, and a safe place for everyone to express their religion, and beliefs and themselves freely without fear of being rejected. I think we've come along way. Heck in 2009/2010, the phrase "that's so gay" was common among young kids. It wasn't a jab at the potentially homosexual community around them, it was just a saying that someone somewhere started in an effort to say "that's so lame" in a different way. With Generation X, that was smothered out practically immediately. And now for the bad. We as a society in America, act differently than most countries. Ask any foreigner how they think that Americans act, or to describe an American and they will try to give you an image that may or may not be close to the truth. Now I'm not saying being different is bad, in fact, I'm practically the black sheep of my family because I'm so different, but if we aren't careful in trying to censor ourselves, we just might throw out the constitution. Freedom of Speech is a core value in this country. As awful as it may sound, the base beliefs of the Constitution were set up to let anyone believe, and say whatever they want while being treated as an equal. And practically do anything they want. There are laws limiting that so there isn't absolute chaos. So if someone wants to be a "witch on wheels" as my mother so lovingly would say, then that is their right as a citizen of the United States. If someone wants to donate their earnings for the month that is that person's choice and right as a citizen. If someone feels as though the politician isn't doing his job, then it is their right to protest peacefully near the courthouse. The moment that we as a society start smothering people's voices, and opinions, is a moment where we take a step in making an unhealthy suppressed vocal society. Which infringes upon the Constitution. It is a good thing to want a safe place to express your unique self, but you can not shove any type of belief down anyone's throat. You can not smother others. At least you should not. With this coming year, who knows what is to come to pass, who knows what will happen to you personally. All we know is that someday, we'll think back to our time in the 20's and say to ourselves "Wow, I lived through that. I did that. I can't believe that happened to me." In both a positive and negative connotation. Bad things will happen, that is a guarantee. But so are good things. And change. Everything will change. So here is to our roaring 20's, may they change everything.
By Rachel M Everitt6 years ago in Motivation
Letter To My Past Selves
Dear Brittany, This is a letter to the past versions of you that need validation. I know you didn’t realize it, but you could have always validated yourself. There were people around you that validated you all the time, but you just refused to believe them. But it’s time to let go of that. It’s time to accept compliments from people you love and understand with your whole heart, that they are telling the truth.
By Brittany Valentine6 years ago in Motivation
A Look Back on The Last Year of a Decade.
"you don't mature with time, you mature through lessons. you mature when you make mistakes and learn where you went wrong. you mature the moment you can admit that you were wrong and accept that people will always have differing opinions on you and that's okay. you mature when you look within yourself before you look at others, it is the moment you decide to hold your tongue instead of engage in unnecessary dispute. you mature when you choose kindness over arrogance, and choose to forgive over holding grudges. you don't mature through the time that passes, you mature through the lessons you seek and understand." -naaveesa
By M F6 years ago in Motivation
