Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in The Swamp.
The "Magic" of White Men, White Women and Whiteness
Yeah I said it. White people have their own Magic. It just... isn't actual magic. I have come to the conclusion that white men look better on TV than they do in real life. This conclusion is based on observations of the media vs reality. It is also based on how the glassy expectations of white people (set by white people) were shattered by the hard hands of real life and truth. Back when I was in Africa, anytime I saw a white man, he was always portrayed as the hero, the successful businessman, the clever detective, the handsome romantic, the one who saved the "savages" (Africans and Native Americans) and in many more "positive" roles. There was nothing the white man could not do according to the (whitewashed and neo-colonized) media. Heck, you see white men in stories they had nothing to do with come out as the glorified hero, i.e. a white dude magically out bested every Chinese solider in a martial art that the Chinese have practiced for hundreds of years... in just two to three months (what the fuck?!). So of course I thought white men were magical creatures, I mean they were on TV, so it had to be true. I just had to go to America to end up with one for the rest of my life. Then I came to America... and let's say it was a big ass disappointment.
By PHILLY THE AFRICANA8 years ago in The Swamp
Newsflash: Bear in Red Hat Jailed in Marmalade Trafficking Scandal!
As the Brown family watched the evening news, they decided that the snooty news presenter seemed far too condescending... "Mr. P Bear of 32 Windsor Gardens, London has been taken into custody today amidst Marmalade Trafficking allegations. His adoptive parents, Mr. and Mrs. Brown fear their furry child may be extradited... Foreign Affairs Minister Boris Buttwaffle was unavailable for comment but issued a statement denying any Government knowledg about the Sandwich Incidents at the popular gap year destination, Macchu Piccu..."
By Rosalyn Grams8 years ago in The Swamp
On Your Bike Boris
Imagine you are in a foreign country and suddenly you find yourself arrested on charges that make no sense to you. You will undoubtedly feel scared and vulnerable. You could well find yourself in a rough jail or suffer maltreatment at the hands of the authorities for your alleged crimes. You need someone on your side, fighting your corner, and doing so intelligently and effectively. In the case of British citizens abroad, they should be able to rely on the Foreign and Commonwealth Office to help them out with their case and make sure that they are being treated well during the legal process. It becomes an especially pressing and potentially delicate issue, requiring diplomatic skill, when the other country involved is viewed as very problematic in terms of human rights.
By Adrian Wale8 years ago in The Swamp
Dear Donald, You Are the New Face of Floyd
Dear Donald, I would like to know how well you know your history, specifically of pop culture. I ask because the world of pop culture—especially music—has always reflected on politicians’ effects on society. And, honestly, I think you probably already set the bar for yourself back in your "glory days" of entrepreneurship, when you first began to turn into a pig.
By Dylan Gonzalez8 years ago in The Swamp
Allowing Totalitarian Regimes to Take Over
The causes of totalitarian regimes taking power: In Germany, between 1930 to 1940, there was starvation, there was extreme poverty, there was total despair, and no one did anything to help the suffering except one man who came along in the name of the National Socialist Party. He promised salvation, food, strength, power, and pride. What would you do? Assume you have no knowledge of history, you are living in despair, and your children are starving. Would you follow someone who gives hope? You have nothing to lose.
By Peter Rose8 years ago in The Swamp
Who Is Ireland’s Barbara Hewson? Age of Consent to 13, Murder, and Bono. 1498 Til Now
Oh Barbara Hewson. Where does one begin with thee? Many people see you as an enigma, probably paid by old men to do their dirty work of lobbying for the reduction of the age of consent. But I’m not sure that you are so easy to define. A little birdy asked me to investigate Barbara Hewson in the way that I investigated Laura Kuenssberg, John Kersey, and Theresa May’s Father, Hubert Brasier. I love to delve deep into the family history of these complicated characters. I love to study the predatory tentacles of the establishment Kraken that haunts the deep dark ocean of our modern British civilisation. I am basically studying the deoxyribonucleic acid as it progresses through time and space, reproducing to continue its journey. How the genetics react at different eras of social uprising, revolution, cultural evolution, and through personal trauma. DNA can tell us a lot about what makes a human tick, and by studying our own DNA’s history, maybe we can discover why we believe what we do?
By Johnny Vedmore8 years ago in The Swamp
Terror Changes a City in a Day
Terrorism has changed London in so many ways. Often, we don't even notice it. It's usual to be stuck at the train station, with no bin to put your gum in, because the IRA hid bombs in public litter bins. We hear the announcements every time we travel on the train — Please take all your personal belongings with you when leaving the train, and keep them with you at all times whilst on the platform. Terrorism is everywhere, but it is nowhere. London has changed, but is it for the better?
By Alex Gould8 years ago in The Swamp
America is Exactly Wrong in Its Approach to North Korea
In any middle school American social studies class, as they look at ancient cultures, the message is repeated and reinforced: With trade comes the exchange of ideas. Through all of history from the Phoenicians to the Romans, from the crusades to the age of exploration, trade changes people. As with Native Americans, sometimes this is tragic in inestimable ways, but often, open trade opens minds. Why then, do we continue to believe that trade sanctions force change? It has literally never worked. As we continue the path of increasing sanctions in the hopes of bringing North Korea to heal, it’s important to remember that this path has never worked and is unlikely to work now. But there is another path which often works: trade.
By David Bulley8 years ago in The Swamp
Priti Patel's Lovely Holiday
Another day, another embarrassment for Theresa May's government. If there are any more resignations, the Cabinet is going to be a very lonely place. This time, it was the turn of Priti Patel to hand in her notice. I wonder who's next — it's rather exciting! Anyway, the UK government will probably have legitimacy until at least the weekend, so let's take a look at this one misdemeanour along the way to the implosion of the Conservative Party.
By Katy Preen8 years ago in The Swamp
