Hannah B

Joined September 2018

72 stories

Bio

Mom, self proclaimed funny girl, and publicly proclaimed "piece of work".

Lover and writer of fiction and non-fiction alike and hoping you enjoy my attempts at writing either.

Achievements (3)

Stories (72)

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Gustav’s writing nook
This desk, chair, and shelves— a proper writing nook— was originally my anniverary gift from my husband, but Gustav has sort of taken it for his own and I really don’t have the heart to kick him out. I mean, look at him; he even fits the colour scheme. I don’t even think it would be wrong of me to call him... majestic. He’s epic and magical. Epical, even. And I just love what he’s done with the place.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Lifehack
The Vocal Challenge
I started off the year with two thoughts about writing. 1. I was tired of thinking being a published author was just a faraway goal; this year I would be done with being told it would be nice if I could write for a living.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Motivation
2020 Celebrity Soccer Match
The following is a found transcript, pulled from the rubble of the 2020 Year End Celebrity Soccer Match. The footage of this match was seen only by the spectators of the event, who agreed to peacefully rid the world of any of the footage so that humankind could move forward without the burden of 2020's memories.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Cleats
Rouse
I've done anything short of propping my eyelids open with toothpicks to keep from returning to the nightmares that await me, and yet, being awake feels less and less real all the time. The hours in a day seem to be misplaced as I blink, and somehow I float from place to place until it's time for my argument with the clock again. It's as if sleep is no longer a function of my brain and body, rather, it is the will of something... someone, dreadful. I wish I could just give in to the part of my brain that tells me I know this is all a dream, but the part that forgets why we're there and who's behind it screams so much louder.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Futurism
Blockchain Over Banks
Welcome back to another edition of "Girl who knows absolutely nothing about the financial world delves into some of the most complicated topics among the said world." It's a working title.
By Hannah B5 years ago in The Chain
Grandma's Pecan Kisses
I'm no stranger as to why sometimes the Holidays aren't the joyful wonderland we want them to be. I'm a twenty-six-year-old social worker aiding in stopping the opiate crisis; I've got enough personal and residual trauma to make Santa want to shut off the Christmas carols at times. Most years, Christmas is a season I try to come out of the dark twisty-ness of my regular routine and use the Yuletide as a time for healing, reconnecting, and truly spreading joy. But this is my family's first Christmas without Grandma, someone who has been at every Christmas forever. And this one just really bites.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Feast
iFight
Me: Hey... I'm glad you came. iPhone: I didn't have much of a choice, Aphrodite Goddess Of Sex. Me: Okay, seriously?! I have changed that setting so many times-- I have no idea how you even started calling me that. I asked that you please call me Hann Solo, which is hilarious because my name is Hannah and I love Star Wars. *Deep breath* Okay, not how I wanted to start this.
By Hannah B5 years ago in 01
Holiday Shopping for Tightwads
There's a lot of reasons that the holidays are the most depressing time of year, and though most of them are attributed to dysfunctional families and bigotry, one of those reasons is money.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Lifehack
Dear Husband
dear husband, if you leave your wet towel beside the bed one more time, I swear to god, this time I am not picking it up. That thing could start to grow mushrooms on it, attract various insects, and emit an odour that can only be described as "swampy", and I still won't do it this time. You have to learn. You have to see the consequences of these actions. I will not ask again.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Humans
Drive-by Drive Thru
It's astounding to me the way some people are just... "car people". I mean, don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the way some cars look, but... I've literally been on a date with a man who literally thought it would be fun to just drive me around in his (really not that impressive) car and looked at me each time he accelerated as if I was supposed to be excited by it. BECAUSE HE WAS. HE LOVED IT SO MUCH. My husband once watched a 19 minute long video on YouTube called "Big Engines Starting up" and he was legitimately entertained by it. I hated it. So much.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Wheel
Lend me your ear!
I'll start by saying: if you know me in real life and you don't want to know any details about my sex life I haven't shared (without anyone asking) already, you may not want to continue with this here article. Things are about to get weird.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Filthy
Letsplay for the Lonely
I can remember adults thinking my friends and I were weird, or telling me in the lamest, most un-Will-Smith-esque way possible that they "just didn't understand" certain facets of popular culture, and me thinking, "that will never be me. I will never be so out of touch with the youth of our nation." My mom not thinking that Charlie The Unicorn was funny? Criminal. My teacher not appreciating me writing emo lyrics on my forearm? Tragic.
By Hannah B5 years ago in Gamers

Hannah B

Bio

Achievements .css-1svwz57-Text{display:inline-block;color:var(--text-default-mute);}(3)

Stories (72)

Filter by community

Gustav’s writing nook

The Vocal Challenge

2020 Celebrity Soccer Match

Rouse

Blockchain Over Banks

Grandma's Pecan Kisses

iFight

Holiday Shopping for Tightwads

Dear Husband

Drive-by Drive Thru

Lend me your ear!

Letsplay for the Lonely

Achievements (3)