Stream of Consciousness
The Line We Were Never Meant to Cross — Part 1
I knew better than to trust silence. Silence had a way of tempting people into saying things they couldn’t take back. The night I went to Aarav’s house, the city was under a power cut. No streetlights. No neighbors awake. Just rain scratching against windows like it wanted to be let in. I told myself I was there for closure. That was a lie. The door opened before I knocked twice. Aarav stood there barefoot, sleeves rolled up, eyes dark in the candlelight behind him. He looked… undone. Like someone who hadn’t slept, or forgiven himself, or stopped thinking about me. “You shouldn’t be here,” he said. “I know.” Neither of us moved. The storm thundered. Somewhere inside the house, a clock ticked loudly—counting down to something neither of us was ready for. “Come in,” he said finally, stepping aside. The door shut behind me with a sound that felt too final. The house smelled like coffee and rain and something unmistakably him. The living room was lit only by two candles on the table. Shadows clung to the walls, turning familiar furniture into something dangerous. “You said you were done with me,” I said, crossing my arms. “I said I was trying,” he corrected. “There’s a difference.” We had history. Ugly history. Stolen looks that lasted too long. Conversations that went too deep at the wrong hours. A kiss we pretended never happened. And the night he walked away without explanation. “I didn’t come to argue,” I said. “I just wanted to understand why you left.” Aarav laughed softly. Not amused. Bitter. “Because wanting you made me someone I didn’t recognize.” That should’ve scared me. Instead, it pulled me closer. “I waited,” I said quietly. “You disappeared, and I waited like an idiot.” He took a step toward me. One. Slow. Careful. Like approaching a wild thing. “If I touch you,” he said, voice low, “I won’t stop.” My heart slammed against my ribs. “Then don’t touch me,” I whispered. He stopped inches away. Close enough that I could feel his breath. Close enough to smell the rain on his skin. “You’re shaking,” he said. “So are you.” His hand rose—hesitated—then gripped the edge of the table instead of me. Wood cracked softly under his fingers. “This is why I left,” he said tightly. “Because you make me lose control.” I should’ve walked out. Instead, I reached for him. The moment my fingers brushed his wrist, something in him snapped. He pulled me against the wall—hard enough to steal my breath, careful enough not to hurt me. His body caged mine, his forehead resting against my shoulder as if he was fighting himself. “Say the word,” he breathed. “And I’ll let you go.” I didn’t. I tilted my head, exposing my neck without meaning to. That was all it took. His mouth found my skin—slow, claiming, dangerous. Not rushed. Like he wanted to memorize every reaction, every gasp. My hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer even as my mind screamed warnings. This wasn’t soft love. This was hunger. He kissed me like he was afraid I’d disappear again. Like the world might end if he didn’t take this moment. When his lips met mine, it wasn’t gentle—it was controlled, deliberate, full of restraint barely holding together. “I hate how much I want you,” he murmured against my mouth. “I hate that I came back,” I replied, breathless. We kissed anyway. Time blurred. The storm raged louder. Candlelight flickered wildly, shadows dancing around us like witnesses. His hand rested on my waist, thumb pressing into my skin like a promise and a threat. Then he stopped suddenly. Forehead against mine. Breathing uneven. “If we keep going,” he said, “this won’t end clean.” I looked at him. Really looked. At the man who ran because he cared too much. At the darkness he carried. At the way he still held me like I mattered. “Nothing about us ever was,” I said. The power came back on with a sharp click. Light flooded the room. Reality rushed in. We stepped apart instantly. I smoothed my clothes. He ran a hand through his hair. The moment shattered, but the damage was already done. I walked to the door. “Don’t disappear again,” I said without turning around. “I won’t,” he replied. I believed him. That was the most dangerous part.
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